Cynthia Bailey You Are Not Alone, I Cry Sometimes Too! Raising a Teenage Daughter Is Hard Work!
In last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Cynthia Bailey and Nene Leakes got into an interest conversation about raising a teen. I don’t have a son, so I can’t say that I can totally relate to what it is like to raise one, but I do have a daughter and whoa is that an experience.
This article is not about taking sides, because I think both of them had areas of truth that should be shared, and not attacked. Raising a child in today’s world is something else. There are so many things to get into, there is so much peer pressure and with the Web, it is easier than ever to make costly mistakes that can follow you for a lifetime.
So being a parent during these times has its fair share of challenges and frustrations. I know I myself have had many sleepless nights, and days when as a mother I cried, and wanted to quit. You wonder how you can protect your child from those mistakes they can’t even imagine at their age. You wonder how their peers are influencing their behavior, or even how they might be influencing their friends. Oye vey! You wonder how you can translate the experience you have over to them, only to find out they think you are stupid and clueless about the times they live in today.
Despite the mother daughter tensions that can exist, you love your child with everything you have. You hope that you can protect them from enough of life’s challenges, while giving them the room to make enough mistakes to grow and find their own strength and identity.
This journey obviously comes with triumphs and trials. As a parent, you have to make peace with your own choices. It helps to have your own support system in place. I have found prayer, faith, and counseling to be incredibly important tools. Praying and conversations with people who have been there, and done that are sanity savers. It reminds you that in spite of it all you can make it through your child’s teenage years alive and well, and you can even live to tell about it.
Being a parent is by far one of the greatest gifts. You have the privilege of being part of bringing another person into this world, and/or being there for them as they grow and develop. It can be hard, and that is why you need resources, support, and encouragement along the way. You have to learn how to parent each child differently as they go through the different phases of their lives. That means we have to learn how to grow and stretch, as well. At least some of the struggles I think you face as a parent is learning that your baby is not a little girl anymore. Your role as a parent changes, they don’t need you to do everything for them, and you shouldn’t they need to learn how to do some things on their own. You also have to remember that they still need you around, even when they don’t think they do or when they act like they don’t.
So, I understand why Cynthia Bailey cried. Parenting is hard work, and the pressure of doing the best you can and then letting go some times just feels overwhelming. No mother or father wants to feel like they messed up their child. So, the best advice I can offer is do the best you can, get the help you need, have faith and take as it comes by taking one step and one day at a time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be the best mom you can be. I am the parent of a gifted, talented and sweet 16 year-old girl, and I only want the best for her. Parenting is not easy, especially now!
So, Cynthia Bailey you are not alone, sometimes I cry too.
For parents, who are in this with me… here are a few resources that you may want to check out. I have found them incredibly helpful, perhaps you will too.
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Disclosure: As an Amazon affiliate these links do allow me to earn . They help me cover the expenses of maintaining this website.
My kids are not even preteens and I cry. Ugh!! I can’t even imagine them being teenagers. I was fortunate that all of my awful mistakes as a teen and young adult didn’t take me out and as a mother all you want to do is protect them from the mistakes you made. I loved the Love Dare and even though I don’t have teens I will be checking the parent edition out. Great resources. Thank you!! Be encouraged. Even sometimes a post like this will help someone that thinks they are in it alone. 🙂
Thanks so much Mandi. LOL I would go back to those younger years in a heartbeat. I am thankful for my daughter and her growth and I look forward to watching her turn into a woman of substance, who can look back on these times and laugh. We all hate watching our children suffer, and even worse knowing that being a good parent means allowing them to make mistakes… Yes check out the Love Dare for Parents… it made me step back and really think about things differently. When you are in the thick of things it is a really interesting source for challenging you as a parent to do things differently. Thank you for your encouraging words…. 😎
Dear Aida, Thank you for sharing this timely and important article. Many parents are going through the trials of raising a child in this society and need to know they are not alone in how they feel or the fears that rise when faced with choices and decisions that may not be popular. It truly helps to hear the heart of a parent and offering them comfort through true experiences. Thanks again for sharing.
Thanks @AuthorBMichelle it really is challenging and you are right so many people really have this struggle and suffer in silence. I have been wanting to write about this for a while, but I guess I just needed the right motivation. To many moms and dads are going through this and need to know that getting help is a good thing. Without my faith and believing that in the end all of this will work out, and without friends who love and support me I don’t know what I would of done. Thank you my sister for being such and encouragement to many..especially me!
I did not watch the show, but I am one of those mothers who cries also. It is hard to raise children and there are always things that you have done wrong or could have done better. As parents we feel good about our children’s successes, but we also cry at their failures. We also cry when they are hurt or sad. Like you I rely on prayer, my faith and the support of friends. I think it is good to have these conversations about parenting, how hard it is and how to get through it all.
I have been there with my daughter. It was difficult to admit I wasn’t a perfect parent – who wants to admit they struggle with something that seems so fun and easy if you believe the TV. I can say that it gets better. It’s tough and some days yelling in a pillow and walking saved us both. If the steering wheel of my car could talk, it would tell you about MULTIPLE cries.
I dread parenting in the teen years…Parenting 3 under 4 is hard enough – but I hear it gets worse!
The tween years are getting difficult. I am already missing those years when I was the hero and not just, “Mooom, you don’t know ….” Thanks for sharing. I so identify.
I know I can raise infants-preteen thanks to being a nanny but I am terrified for my daughter to become a teen!! Thanks goodness I still have years and years to get ready for it. Posts like this will hopefully help!
Loved this post–so much love comes through in your words. I have a 7, nearly-5 and 1 year old. Letting go and giving them permission to fail and struggle is so difficult. Thanks for this post. xoxox
I don’t have a teen daughter…yet…but I will some day and probably too soon! We all have days where we just need to cry no matter what age they are and I can assume that those days may get more frequent as they enter those teen years. A wonderfully written post Aida!
I have a tween and a preK’er and I’ve cried a lot! But I know we want what’s right for our girls and don’t want them to make some mistakes we did but that we can’t shelter them from everything. I always pray that I hope I’m helping her become a great young lady and the verdict is still out on the little crazy 4yo lol
I still have little ones, including a girl, and I shed tears over the idea that I may not be doing a good job as a mom. I can’t even imagine how it will be once they are teenagers.
Parenting is indeed hard work! I always hear people say one gender is harder than another. It all depends on who you ask! My best friend says raising a teen is more work than raising a toddler. I’ll see in about 12 years! lol
I loved reading your post cherish your relationship with your daughter, every moment is precious!
I don’t think any parent who takes this life work seriously manages to get through it, especially adolescence, without crying.
I don’t have a teenager but the soon to be 5-year-old is growing fast! I can only imagine the talks that we’ll have… thinking.. I cried just imagining that she’s about to be 5.
I don’t have kids yet but I do have two teen nieces and one nephew… saying that I do find that there seems to be a double standard with them. The girls seem to be on a tighter leash than the boys. I think there should be a tight leash on both. I think though that kids will be kids and if they are not dating someone in front of your face will they be trying to find ways to do it behind your back. I think if you set expectations and you have that conversation with your child and the person they are “dating” you have a little more comfort in knowing you’re doing everything possible. I am happy I have time before then! I’ll pray for you moms of teenage children! 🙂