How To Get The Respect You Deserve?
Most people would be offended if I owed them $50, and I gave them a $5 instead. I feel confident that most people would even feel comfortable enough to call me out on it. Why I wonder do we stay in relationships where people, don’t value us, or why do we allow people to treat us in ways that we should be treated, often times without saying a word? Things that make you go hmm!
There are a dozen or so reasons why we allow ourselves to make that decisions that don’t honor us. Perhaps we don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings, and then there are other times when we are afraid of what would happen if we tell others the truth the way we see it, or how people will judge us if we decide to walk.
In spite of that, you should make people adhere to a certain code of conduct no matter who they are, or what role they play in your life. People often say that we teach people how to treat us, and that is 100% true. It starts when people are children, and it continues way into adulthood. You can see it play out with the child who acts up until a certain adult enters the room. It’s not that the child can’t change their behavior it is instead that they won’t unless someone makes it clear that their behavior is unacceptable, and they have to change it.
As adults, the same thing is true. There will always be people around us who will push the envelope they will try things just to see how you respond to them. Sometimes it is intentional, but there are times when it is automatic. When you always let things go, and don’t speak up for yourself, you send a message and people pay attention to it.
If this is a common problem for you, trust me when I say you are not alone. I don’t know if there has been a study done on this, but I am sure that this is not an uncommon occurrence. Here are some practices that you can put in place, to help you solve the problem once and for all.
Speak up! If something makes you uncomfortable, please speak up. There are times when people have no idea that what they are doing is making you feel uncomfortable. When you decide not to say anything, you are part of the problem. Be willing to share with the other person that when they said or did Y, it made you feel X way. If you are in a professional environment, you can do the same thing, just make sure you use as many facts as possible, and make sure your clarify what you thought you heard them say, or what you thought they did.
Set A Standard. Standards are very important they let people know on the front end, what you expect and what you believe are fair practices. When you tell people what you expect there is no room for confusion, and it makes it easier for everyone to be on the same page.
Understand Other People’s Limitations. There are some people in your life, who will never be able to give you what you want from them. They never got it, never learned it, or don’t have the ability to give it to anyone, including you. This can be a very painful reality to accept, especially if the person who is incapable of giving you what you want is someone you love, or someone who you believe should be able to do what you are asking. Seek the help of a professional counselor if needed, but if you want to have peace, it is something that you must face and be willing to accept.
Don’t Be Easily Offended. This is a line from the Joyce Meyer’s book, Do Yourself A Favor, And Forgive. There are times when our past hurts and challenges make us sensitive to things others do in a way that is not healthy. When we are aware of it, we can protect ourselves and keep things in perspective, but when are not aware of them, we tend to be hurt more often. Choosing not to be offended easily is a choice, and it is a position of maturity. The truth is we rarely really know where people are coming from and what they are thinking, we come with our own ideas, and often we are wrong. When we choose not to be easily offended we acknowledge the fact, that we could be wrong and that we don’t know what is really going on the other person’s mind or heart, and we act cautiously when conflict arises.
These tips are a great way to help others learn to respect you. It may take some time to get used to doing them, but they are a great way to put things back in order in all your relationships.